PREVIOUSLY, the teens went clubbing and Sunday wet herself. Both these things happened more than once. Ares and Chance met their evil matches in their cousins Rylan, Michaela, and Winter. Aria began to stalk her younger crush, Ezra, by becoming a badge bunny. NO JUDGMENT. And lots of people aged up: Andrew ( samannah), Glory, and Noro to adults, Ares, Biko, and Chance to teens, and Luno and Cain to children, resulting in the future heir poll getting really, really tough.
/quick gratuitous fan-service
YOU'RE WELCOME, ARES FANS.
Throughout Cain's birthday celebration, poor Luno was left all alone in the foyer, watching everyone give attention - and lots of it! - to someone who isn't her. I see a pattern coming on . . .
Well, here are two people who aren't giving all their attention to their birthday boy. Ominous, isn't it?
EMMA KATE: Ugh, they're still obsessing over Re? Whatever, wake me up when they actually do something other than make empty threats.
The next day Silas ( sixamsims) and Andrew had the day off from work and thus decided to get some work done around the house.
No, I'm totally kidding, they didn't do any work whatsoever.
Zephyrus had rather pressing matters to discuss with his mother when he got home.
ZEPHYRUS: I saw a guy walking around downtown wearing a pink polo shirt and it got me thinking, I'd like to wear a pink polo shirt. But it comes down to a matter of how pink is too pink - like hot pink, I think I could pull it off, but would that really be a better option than, say, a light pink? Harry Potter never had these issues!
GLORY: Oh, honey.
CHANCE: Am I really hearing this? This is fantastic!
CHANCE: I bet I could exploit this for a lot of money - BLACKMAIL EVEN!
I think Andrew may be worried about his daughter. Probably rightfully so.
Not too worried, clearly, as he's busy thinking about himself immediately after. This family is full of raging narcissists, I swear.
ARES: So Dad, feel like making me some key lime pie? Eh, eh?
The girls were also gossiping about Andrew's cooking in the living room. WHY IS IT THAT THIS PASSES FOR CELEBRITY GOSSIP JFC.
And this is the point where I took the camera away from Chance and Remember for about thirty seconds and came back to this:
I thought this was Re's angry face.
I was wrong.
REMEMBER: What is so wrong about being a good person? You have no right to make that into a negative! You're just getting off on being a bitch, and you're evil through and through!
CHANCE: Who, me?
REMEMBER: Don't you try to play innocent with me.
CHANCE: Whoa, easy on the death glare there, sis.
REMEMBER: "Easy on the death glare?" EASY? It's not undeserved or anything! You deserve more than a death glare, if you ask me.
CHANCE: Well, nobody's asking you. Hmph.
CHANCE: I'm over you.
CHANCE: You know why? Because you're standing here yelling at me for being a bitch, and what do you think all that yelling makes you? That's right, you're the bitch here, Remember! How does that sit with your so-called niceness?
REMEMBER: Oh my gosh, I didn't even, I didn't even think of that! I can't believe I could allow myself to act so out of hand-
CHANCE: Oh, you're out of hand, all right! "Oh, look at me, I'm Remember Crescendo, all sweet and innocent and I could never do anything mean, I'm just too shy and sweet and innocent to ever get out of hand like that." I'll show you out of hand!
CHANCE: HERE'S out of hand!
REMEMBER: Okay, Chance, you've made your point and you're right, I was behaving badly. I'm sorry, I never should've taken it out on you like that. Can't we please try to put this behind us maybe? Truce?
CHANCE: Oh, as if.
Wonderful. Just wonderful.
CHANCE: EFFFFF, MY BACK!
REMEMBER: I tried to make a truce with you, but you wouldn't have it. Next time maybe you'll think twice about fighting with the martial artist who offers a truce.
Oh, now that coward trait kicks in.
CHANCE: I'm going to be socially ostracized! I MIGHT AS WELL WALK AROUND WITH A BOX ON MY HEAD.
The whole house is full of discord it seems.
CAIN: I see you, dresser. Meet your match.
ARES: *sneak sneak*
ARES: *sneak sneakity sneak*
ARES: BOOM, BITCHES!
CAIN: Getting scared in front of such lovely artwork - I'M SO EMBARRASSED. Forgive me, screen legends.
I feel this sums up the boys pretty well.
CAIN: So much stress, I could really use a massage right about now.
Continuing with your regularly scheduled discord.
CHANCE: HOSHIT EMMA KATE SEES ME. Play it cool, play it cool . . .
CHANCE: Plan's a go!
CHANCE: YOUR BEST FRIEND'S A HORRIBLE PERSON! Just so you know.
Nothing can keep their friendship down, least of all Chance. ♥
Also, how fitting is it that they're bonding over their love for dancing? UM NATURALLY.
EMMA KATE: OH MY GOD I CAN'T GET TO THE WAFFLES! WOE!
BIKO: Calm down, there's like a whole platter of waffles.
EMMA KATE: I AM WASTING AWAY TO NOTHING!
Cain decided he needed in on this attention whore-ing thing.
CAIN: HELP I AM CHOKING!
ZEPHYRUS: Should we help him?
ARES: NO, Grandma, that is not right! GOD, why can't you see it my way?
Um . . . ?
ARIA: Okay, okay, I see your point, now calm down, please!
ARES: You just don't understand how awesome blue is, GOD.
What is it with these kids and getting worked up over colours?
Ares decides to take his much-suppressed rage out on poor, unsuspecting forum users. This is his I BE TROLLING face.
ARES: Mission: accomplished.
Sim version of Littlefinger in his trolling, y/y?
I wish Chance would take her issues out online as opposed to on her relatives, tbh.
CHANCE: Heeeey, Uncle Silas, I've got a question for you . . .
CHANCE: How YOU doin'?
SILAS: DO NOT WANT.
CHANCE: What? C'mon, I'm young, hot, nubile, I'm like a real-life teenage dream!
You're also clinically INSANE, methinks.
Silas booked it out of the house to go ghost-hunting. Of course the ghosts were haunting Tautou's house because that's the way ghosts roll, apparently.
TOBY: Why must our house be haunted every other day? What did we do to deserve this?
Tautou probably disrupted some ancient burial ground in her rage, knowing her. Would not be shocked.
This is one ghost Silas will not be hunting! Hi, Liam (kittehbomb)! Here to try to impregnate your elderly wife in the hot tub again?
Sorry, the hot tub's in use. *not really sorry*
Age-appropriate non-related romances FTW!
Bed's also occupied, Liam. Which . . . I CAN'T.
NORO: Hey, babe, come join me, won't you?
ANDREW: Um. That's your mom. Sleeping. Right there next to you. In that bed.
NORO: Yeah, so? I thought you wanted to spice things up a bit.
ANDREW: TOO MUCH.
With the adults of the house otherwise occupied, it's no wonder Emma Kate is able to so easily sneak out to meet her cousin Alexis at a bar in the shady section of Redcliffs.
ALEXIS: Yeah, okay, I don't really feel like dancing, per se, but I need to feel tops, so no crappy drink - NO TEQUILA - but hmm, so many options! Yes, okay, gin and tonic, done.
Emma Kate is a lot less particular.
EMMA KATE: That tray of drinks there? I'LL TAKE IT!
Emma Kate's a drunken pro at shuffleboard. You should all be jealous of her mad skillz.
ALEXIS: OH, C'MON. She's had a whole tray of drinks and I still can't beat her? Screw it, I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S HAVING.
The cop picks a lovely time to show up.
COP: Is that an underage girl drinking?
EMMA KATE: Don't know her, sorry. Can we just go? Let's get this over with.
Glory was awaiting her daughter's arrival. That's the downside to your mom being an International Super Spy and knowing all the cops in this town.
EMMA KATE: Wow, Mom, I'm just beat. *yawn* Can we save this talk for tomorrow?
GLORY: For tomorrow?! Oh yes, I suppose I should've just saved all my worrying for tomorrow. Who cares if you end up dead in a ditch somewhere, I'll just worry about it tomorrow!
EMMA KATE: Whoa, easy, Mom, I didn't mean it like that . . . I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to make you worry.
GLORY: You are a teenager who was in a bar on the bad side of town! What did you mean to make me do if not worry, pray tell? Get inside the house and go to bed before I lose my leniency. Kids these days.
I think Noro may have felt a bit guilty about trying to get it on with her husband next to her sleeping mother.
NORO: Hey, Mom, head's up!
CAREFUL ARIA, DON'T BREAK A HIP.
Alexis turned up the next morning, looking a bit worse for wear.
ALEXIS: Hey, Emma Kate, I know it's kind of weird turning up here out of the blue, I hope you don't mind, but I need to ask you a favor . . . My dad kind of cracked last night, he said that he couldn't put up with me going out clubbing anymore. He's some fancy world-renowned surgeon so he's always reading these medical journals about the dangers of alcohol and back alley drugs and deals and all that over-the-top stuff, and he just kind of lost it. So, I was wondering . . . Do you think I could stay here until my dad cools down a bit?
EMMA KATE: Al, that sucks. Yeah, of course you can stay here; there's so many kids here that nobody will even notice another one. You can stay as long as you need.
And that is how Alexis moved in for the time being so that I can have a moment to imagine she is heir-eligible. A GIRL CAN DREAM.
Alexis went about making herself right at home.
ALEXIS: Ah, this is the life. I could just stay here forever!
COULD YOU PLEASE? XD
True to Emma Kate's words, nobody even questioned Alexis' presence. Nobody but Ares, that is.
ARES: So, cuz, are you a friend of death's? CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY FOR THEY MAY BE YOUR LAST.
CHANCE: Hey, Ares, I heard you asking our cousin there if she's a friend of death. Well, I just thought you should know that I sure am.
ARES: Are you? Well then, you shall be my friend as well!
This isn't ominous at all.
NOR IS THIS.
CHANCE: And you, Remember, are YOU a friend of death's? We'll find out soon when you MEET DEATH.
We won't find out now though because BIRTHDAYS! How you feeling 'bout this, guys?
Happiness all around!
LUNO: So they get a big party and all the familial attention on them? I see how it is.
Look, I do feel bad about forgetting her birthday last time and generally not paying a whole lot of attention to her in general, but now is not the time to fixate on that. BIRTHDAYS!
ZEPHYRUS: How YOU doin'?
Um, I'm good. *giggles* SWOON.
Emma Kate was chilling outside the school for some reason, so she gets to grow up there.
She seems cool with that.
UNF ZEPH. What a stud! If he's not facially identical to Silas then he's close, but I don't even care, he looks fabulous! He rolled the clumsy trait, awww, which makes him even cuter to me. And his irrelevant LTW, which he's already attained. Shine on, you wonderful diamond.
Sunday! Who is also very heavy on the Silas features. And rolled the loser trait, LOL. Given all the self-wettings and general fail, I think it was inevitable.
And last but certainly not least, Emma Kate! She is the best mix out of all the kids, both Glory's and Noro's. Like with Sunday's new loser trait, I'm not at all surprised by Emma Kate rolling party animal as her final trait. WHY SO INTUITIVE, DICE?
Their parents were too busy re-christening Aria's bed to attend their eldest children's festivities. I really don't know what the fixation on woohooing in Aria's bed is. Guys, seriously. Stop it.
SUNDAY: I just walked in on my parents woohooing in Grandma's bed. My whole brain is crying.
Pretty much sums it up.
The next day, Alexis decided to have a birthday as well. Well, not as much "decided" so much as "happened."
TOO FREAKIN' GORGEOUS I CAN'T.
Newly legal, Emma Kate and Alexis decided that they must go out that night and dragged out both Sunday and Zeph with them.
ZEPHYRUS: Sorry, Re, my sister's making me go out. I'll be back pretty quick though 'cause I can't imagine it'll be much fun without my favorite dancing partner there.
REMEMBER: Oh, no worries, have fun, Zeph!
BIKO: I don't think you really mean that . . . you're gritting your teeth.
REMEMBER: Shut it.
This leaves Remember to Chance's mercy, basically.
CHANCE: Hey there, sexy, how's it going?
Chance, I really think we need to find you a man. You be creepin', girl.
REMEMBER: Hey, since Zeph is out for the night, I figure now is as good a time as any - can we please declare a truce? Even though you're really creepy, I don't like having someone hate me.
REMEMBER: If not for me, then for the family! Can't you see how much discord and pain we're causing this household?
CHANCE: Hmm, I don't know . . . Ares, what do you think?
ARES: I think you should fight!
ARES: Fight! Fight! Fight!
REMEMBER: Really? *sigh*
CHANCE: What, afraid to fight me?
Now there's an attractive face. Wonder that she hasn't got a man.
CHANCE: Or are you too good to fight me? Is that it, you're sitting on your high horse and won't fight me? Well, if you think you're too good for me, may I remind you of one little fact: You're still a bitch!
REMEMBER: I've done nothing but be nice to you and try to apologize since last time! What do you want me to say? I'm sorry, all right?!
CHANCE: Oh, it's too late for apologies! Why won't you just fight me?
REMEMBER: You know, I took you down once before, I could do it again!
CHANCE: Bring it! I WILL EAT YOUR BABIES, BITCH!
ARES: Yeah, I'm bored.
He called up his cousin Bridget and invited her over. Probably for the lulz, because he's a real-life troll like that.
ARES: Listen here, you. You think you can say we're no longer friends? I decide when we're no longer friends, not you!
BRIDGET: Friends? Why would I want to be friends with you after this? I don't want to be anywhere near you!
ARES: You know, Winter's right. You're the least cool of the sisters. You can leave now.
Bridget wanted a picture for the road? I guess?
ARES: Okay, then you get off my lawn, okay?
Meanwhile, Cain's not doing much better inside the house.
CAIN: Why won't anyone argue with you? They all love arguing with each other, so why not you? Is it a likability thing?
CAIN: You're just too likable for anyone to argue with!
BIKO: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's not the issue . . .
CAIN: You know what you have to do. Challenge: accepted.
BIKO: . . .
Well, at least Luno is staying out of the fray. Probably because everyone ignores her and therefore she has to turn to chatting up strangers online, but still. Smart move, other than the STRANGER DANGER aspect of it all.
I thought that things couldn't be any worse outside the house. I was wrong.
SUNDAY: Yeah, that bartender is MESSED. UP. I'm out.
ALEXIS: Oh, I don't know, maybe she has a nice . . . personality?
I decided to go in search of someone who's having a genuine feel-good moment, a rarity in this update. Who could be up for such a challenge?
Aria, of course!
ARIA: I knew you'd catch me in your big, strong, muscly arms. Mmmm.
Oh, to be young again.
Or not. FFS, what is it this time, Ares?
ARES: You wish you were evil and all but you're not, so you just try to emulate me and Chance, and you know what that makes you? A big LOSER!
BIKO: Oh, I'm a big loser? Look at me, caring at what you think! I care sooooo much!
BIKO: I am a winner, no matter what he says.
Awww, Biko. ♥
Know who else is a winner? Zeph and his smokin' hot good looks.
. . . That kinda ruins it a little.
But it's for a good reason, I suppose!
REMEMBER: What should I wish for? I just want to be able to hang out with Zeph like we used to, but that's going to happen already, so I don't know . . . What else could I possibly want? Oh, I know! I wish for truce with Chance!
Really, Sunday? You should be grateful I didn't post your pre-makeover picture; I seem to remember you did a whole lot worse than Re in that department.
Still cute as a button! This should come as no surprise whatsoever, as she is literally a black-haired Noro clone with a different skintone. Sad times. Still cute though! Oh, and new family-oriented trait, which suits her, I think. Re does love her family, after all!
Though it may not be mutual in this case. I see that birthday wish didn't come true.
CHANCE: I don't even know what I hate about her, so I hate EVERYTHING.
As a side note, sorry for being horrible at updating lately. Hopefully I'll be able to turn that around soon, such as with the next update, of which I've played and edited the photos for more than half of it. Either way, thanks for sticking it out and continuing to read - I hope you're all enjoying it, despite how long it's taking! ♥
Current Music: gold guns girls: metric