I guess I should put down my book and write an update, yeah? LET'S DO THIS.
PREVIOUSLY, ugh, I don't feel like writing one of these. Is it bitchy to say read the previous updates? Yeah? Okay. Um, well, there was a teenaged party which ground to a halt thanks to Aria's mad ninja skills. Bar-star Emma Kate met the equally alcoholic McNulty Bumble-Embassy and ended up marrying him and getting knocked up by him, much to the chagrin of Biko and Cain. Though not in that order. SHOTGUN WEDDINGS FTW. After a long, torrid night leading to several proposals, Sunday also had a (possibly shotgun?) wedding with discovered-to-be-insane Gilbert Storms (vayleen). Glory aged up, which was overshadowed by Ares aging up into a ridiculously good-looking set of pixels whose good looks couldn't be overshadowed even by Luno dying his hair blue. STILL SEXY. Aria had a romantic evening with her sun-and-stars, Liam (kittehbomb), and then painted a romantic picture of Edward Cullen WHICH I AM NEVER EVER SELLING. Andrew also entered the world of the elderly. And, to finish off the birthdays, Biko and Chance finally became young adults. Both Ares and Biko moved out, but not before marrying Quincey Deens (simpairment) and Ivy Cosmo (scorpiosims) respectively. And Luno had multiple neurotic breakdowns, culminating in wetting herself a foot away from the toilet. Oh, and she made this face. NEVER FORGET. And finally, Remember and Zephyrus returned from Bridgeport with their respective fiancé(e)s and bastard babies in tow.
Zeph made a beeline for his mother upon arriving home, probably sensing that he had some explaining to do.
ZEPHYRUS: Mom. I'm standing right here.
GLORY: That's nice, honey, who's the girl?
ZEPHYRUS: That's what I want to talk to you about . . .
GLORY: Wait. Is that a baby? Why is there a baby?
GLORY: Get talking, son.
ZEPHYRUS: So, don't freak out-
GLORY: Bit late for that, I think.
ZEPHYRUS: Right. Well, when we were in Bridgeport, I met a girl. And we kind of, you know, hooked up. And then I found out she was using me so I called it off. But then I found out she was pregnant. Well, actually, Re found that out, that was all Re, the girl didn't tell me anything, and then I confronted her about it and I wanted to bring the baby here, because you're the best mom ever, and I didn't want her to grow up away from you and this environment, and so this is my daughter, Myla. And this is my fiancée, Pumpkin.
PUMPKIN (simmply_anna): Hi, Mrs. Crescendo. Lovely house.
ZEPHYRUS: . . . Mom? Why aren't you saying anything? You're mad, aren't you? Oh God, I didn't want you to be mad, I just-
GLORY: I'm not mad, I'm just surprised. But if you're happy, then what more can a mother ask for?
GLORY: Of course.
I see you making bedroom eyes at Zeph there, Pumpkin. Conflict's resolved? WOOHOO TIME!
They look rather proud of themselves, don't they? Come home, introduce your fiancée and bastard baby to your mother, then bang said fiancée in the hot tub.
. . . and then again bang said fiancée in grandmother's shower. Clearly they are not trying for a baby here, as Pumpkin is behind Zeph. I have no idea what they're doing, actually.
EXCEPT FOR BEING HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE BY BANGING IN THE SHOWER BEHIND A GLASS DOOR THAT IS CLEARLY VISIBLE FROM THE VANTAGE POINT OF ZEPH'S GRANDMOTHER'S BED, WHERE SHE IS CLEARLY SLEEPING.
Okay, let's go back to a more innocent time, a time where we cannot unsee these things that have been seen, but we can ignore them in favour of pure unadulterated goodness. Re, your turn!
NORO: You and your cousin were gone for so long, Remember, and now you both come pack with a fiancé and a baby apiece? What happened in Bridgeport, honey? I know you went to find your father, but I never expected that you'd end up taking the same road I did-
REMEMBER: Mom, wait, I'm going to stop you there. I know it looks like I went down the same path you did, but Fluffy, my fiancé, he's different than Sid. We hit it off really well, Mom, and he never left my side - he basically lived at the house with Zeph and I after we met! And he's my fiancé and he came home with me - he's different than my father.
NORO: That's great! You know that I trust your judgment and if Fluffy makes you happy, then I'm happy, and-
NORO: Wait. Did you say something about your father, about Sid? Did you meet him, were you able to track him down?
REMEMBER: I did. He's . . . fine. We're going to try to stay in better contact now, I guess. Mom, I'm sorry, I know you want to talk, but I'm pretty tired after the trip. Do you mind if I go to bed?
NORO: I, no, of course not. We can talk another time. Good night, honey.
REMEMBER: Hey. I know it's been a lot to take in and a big change for you and all, so thank you for being so cool about the meeting the family thing. I know we're kind of overwhelming. So, I just wanted to thank you.
And thank him she did. In the privacy of her own bedroom. WHAT A NOVEL IDEA, I WONDER IF ZEPH AND PUMPKIN ARE LISTENING.
Because I haven't actually said it in this update, though everybody knows it, Re's fiancé is the amazing Fluffy Mrmpfle by the even-more-amazing (IT'S POSSIBLE!) simmply_anna.)
The next day started off not with a bang, but with the consequences of a bang. (I'M SO WITTY . . . -_-).
And more consequences, which . . . yeah. I did not know that they risky woohooed so this was a fun surprise. It's not like Re's ever got pregnant off of risky woohoo before, I'm sure it'll be okay. OH WAIT, THE ONLY OTHER TIME SHE EVER RISKY WOOHOOED SHE GOT PREGNANT. So, that happened.
Let's move on to less worrying things. Like Myla, whose birthday it is! And whose birthday I didn't get any pictures of, but that's okay, you just want to see the result, don't you?
Cute! All that she got from Zeph was his skintone and eye colour, the rest is all her mother I think. I'm not great at picking out toddler features but I know those aren't Zeph's lips and I'm pretty sure that's not his nose. Anyway, cute!
As the first toddler in my game since I installed Generations (I really need to get better at updating), Myla gets quite abused by the claw interaction. FAIR WARNING.
She's going to be such a daddy's girl, I can just tell. ♥
Or a great-grandma's girl, perhaps?
ARIA: It's been too long since I've been able to raise a toddler - there's the potty, we're going to have so much fun, aren't we, sweetpea?
Oh, Aria. Never change. ♥
I seriously don't know what I'll ever do without her.
Oblig toddler-on-the-potty shot.
Where was Myla's father while his grandmother was raising his child, you ask?
Hanging out with his favourite cousin, of course. Who is so much more badass at martial arts than he is, honestly.
See? Badass, I tell you!
Re's own child was being taken care of by a rather distraught Luno.
LUNO: How can something so little make a noise so big? It doesn't make sense, this defies basic physics!
Or something like that, surely.
LUNO: There, there, January, it's okay, Auntie Luno is here . . . Hey, this is actually pretty nice. I like this.
LUNO: Just stealing a baby, no big deal.
Whatever. You live in the same house as that baby so it's not like your hideout will be far away.
LUNO: So, Zeph, I've been thinking, Myla's already a toddler, she's getting pretty old. I think it's time that you have another baby.
ZEPHYRUS: Duly noted, Luno.
LUNO: But really, what time's better than the present? Gotta act while you're still at your most fertile and all!
I think it's safe to say that his fertility has proven itself. Poor Pumpkin, the first sim I've had that didn't make it to a toilet. HOW EMBARRASSING.
Looks like Re's fertility may have also been proven. Then again, she's standing by the toddler potties, so there could be a stench rising off of them. That is also a distinct possibility since only Glory and Andrew (samannah) ever both to empty them.
Oh, well, I guess it wasn't just the potties' stench then. They popped at, no lie, the exact same time. Well then.
Since we'll soon have infants in the house (fuck me, it's going to be plural either way, jfc), it worked out well that January was due to age up. I didn't get any pictures of her in the process but that's okay because . . . drum roll please . . .
Purple hair and elf ears, which I know many of you were hoping for! I was originally going to change any purple-haired babies' hair to Fluffy's natural blond but seeing how excited some of you were for purple, I didn't quite have the heart to. Not to mention that she's adorable as is! I have no idea where those eyes came from - simmply_anna, any ideas? WHATEVER, IDGAF, I LOVE HER.
Aria also loves her. Seriously, how cute is this? Not as cute as the next picture, let me tell you.
ARIA: Look what's coming to get you, it's the Galactica on a crash course with you, a mere Cylon raider! Uh-oh!
January looks rather put-upon by this idea of playtime, but I feel Aria on this.
REMEMBER: What's wrong, January? Was Grandma scaring you with stories about the Galactica on a crash course?
REMEMBER: It's okay, honey, the Galactica has Adama. Nothing bad can happen under the command of Adama, that man is flawless.
Okay, enough of my very biased pop culture references, I guess I could write this as an actual, you know, legacy.
. . . Yeah, let's not kid ourselves.
Given that I will soon have at least two more toddlers on my hands, it is definitely time to go into overdrive on January's toddler skills.
REMEMBER: Okay, let's do this. Repeat after me: Ron Swanson. Come on, January, you can do this. Ron Swanson.
Yeah, that's a WTF face if I've ever seen one. Perhaps we should start smaller and then work our way up to the epic of Ron Swanson?
Myla, having learned most of her toddler skills, gets to eat.
That sounds bad. She learned her skills so she gets to eat. As if I'm implying that otherwise she wouldn't be fed. Um . . .
Her father's too busy working out to worry about minor things like feeding his daughter. Working out by himself, since his partner-in-crime is too pregnant to work out with him.
ZEPHYRUS: Okay, you can do this. Sure, you're by yourself, but that's totally cool. You can do this.
Meanwhile, the other father-to-be was outside the theatre, where shit was clearly going down, if Aidan's reaction is any indication.
AIDAN: Oh my God oh my God oh my God!
FLUFFY: I can't look!
ASHA: What are you guys going on about?
ASHA: Wait. Is this labour? What the fuck what the fuck ow!
FLUFFY & AIDAN: ASDFGHJKL;
So, I feel like Fluffy's well-prepared for this next bit . . .
The day starts off normally enough, with Pumpkin getting out of bed to immediately worship at the altar of Bret and Jemaine.
PUMPKIN: They're so hot, they're like a curry . . . I've heard hot foods are supposed to induce labour . . . mmm, curry . . .
Apparently they are hot like a curry (BOOM) because labour? INDUCED.
At that VERY SAME MOMENT downstairs, Re also went into labour. By impaling herself upon a decorative divider. And neither girl would go to the hospital for some reason. idk.
Pregnancy jig for a home birth! I can't be the only one amused by this animation, can I?
And, born in a cluster of sparkles much like how I imagine Edward Cullen's birth to have gone (DON'T CORRECT ME), Eli Crescendo came into the world. I've gotten really bad with writing down likes and such, so don't expect that information until I get him up for download in the distant future. (THE YEAR 2000) I do have a handy little CAS shot with his traits coming up in this update though. I'm too lazy to find it and write his traits down now, tbh. Welp.
D'awww, so cute. ♥ Pumpkin looks quite proud of herself and rightly so! A single boy? YOU GO GIRL.
Re also gave birth to a single boy! This is Avery.
We have babies - quick, finish the toddler-skilling, guys!
SILAS (sixamsims): Now, Myla, I realize that your mother and father are far from married and probably never will be, but that is no reason to look down upon marriage yourself. In fact, your grandma and I didn't consummate our relationship until after we were married.
LIE. Glory just didn't manage getting knocked up until after you were married; she had ~standards. More importantly, INAPPROPRIATE. Thank God that a two-year old won't have any solid memories from this time. Right? Right? Oh God, I hope that's scientifically proven.
ARIA: Okay, January, think fast - there are Cylon raiders fast approaching but you still have two Vipers out. One is carrying your son. Do you jump or wait for them? I expect a full explanation in your answer.
I have decided that Aria is a Battlestar Galactica fan.
Hi, Ares, why are you back? Not like I'm not happy to be graced with your smoldering good looks once more.
ARES: Mom's birthday. Re threatened me if I didn't come.
REMEMBER: And I wore my martial arts uniform so you'd know I meant business.
And then I didn't get any pictures of Noro actually aging up? I don't know where my mind was at when I was playing this, but let's move onto one of the cutest elders I've ever seen!
RIGHT? RIGHT? She looks cuter in action, when she's not sporting the default pissed off look that CAS gives all my sims. But siriusly, she makes an adorable elder and I love her. ♥ Even if Biko didn't show up, Chance was at work, and Luno was busy chilling with Cain, I showed up for her birthday.
At least her great-niece Arianna (Luca and Jackie (siouxpergirl) showed up. Though I suspect it was just for the free cake.
ARIANNA: Cakey cakey, in my tummy, me so hungee, me so hungee!
Luno was too busy having important discussions with Cain to partake in something so pedestrian as her mother's birthday.
LUNO: Ares got pretty buff since he moved out, and when I asked him about it, he said that Quincey liked him buff and when I get married, I'll learn all about compromising for marriage! What does that mean?
CAIN: Buff men, you say?
LUNO: Um, my brother, yeah.
CAIN: Oh, right. Ahem. Um, I guess you'll have to find out when you're married.
CHANCE: Move, losers, I want to play video games.
CHANCE: Ahhh, this is the life.
Luno occupied herself with one of the children, as she is wont to do.
LUNO: I like the smell of toddler hair . . .
Cain, however, spurred by the talk of buff men, went to visit his good friend, Sam Deens (simpairment). It was kind of . . . awkward?
SAM: So, um, Cain, what's up? I was going to go get a suit for prom tonight, even though I'm not sure if I'm going . . .
CAIN: Prom? Why wouldn't you go? My cousin Chance said that it was awesome! Then again, she spiked the punch and ended up prom queen because everyone was drunk enough to vote for her, but still. We should go together! That way you'll have to go, if we make a plan now!
MCNULTY: Wait, my brother-in-law is asking Sam to prom? Huh.
CAIN: I'll let you in on a little secret - my cousin Chance keeps her booze under her bed and I've already stolen some to spike the punch.
EMMA KATE: Oh, I remember the days of spiking the punch . . . The thrill of drinking is gone now that I'm legal. What I wouldn't give to be young again . . .
CAIN: Doesn't that sound fun?
SAM: It does!
CAIN: So you'll go with me?
SAM: Why, yes, I suppose so.
CAIN: REALLY? You mean it?
Sadly, Cain's time was cut short as he was out past his curfew and some swashbuckling cop decided that it was bad news for a teenager to hang out at his sisters' place after hours. THE HORROR.
CAIN: . . . shit.
Quick interruption for a peek at all the generation four cousins who cohabit Sam's house!
This is Jess, the eldest daughter of Sunday and Gilbert (vayleen).
And Annemarie, their younger daughter. I find it odd that both girls got their grandmother's hair colour. But I love it!
Here's Emma Kate and McNulty's oldest, Charlotte.
And finally, their other child, McKinley. I love how McNulty gave his son a Mc-name.
Cain arrived home to Re chewing him out. HOW DARE YOU BE AT YOUR SISTERS' HOUSE AFTER DARK, CAIN. HOW DARE YOU!
CAIN: Right, like I'm going to listen to my cousin that I'm in trouble? That's rich!
REMEMBER: . . . I don't like this feeling of being undermined.
FLUFFY: You stay out past curfew and you belittle my fiancée? Too far, Cain, too far!
CAIN: Dude, what the hell? You're not even related to me!
FLUFFY: So I'm just supposed to allow you to go out in the darkness of night because I'm not related to you? You make all those related to you worry - and those who aren't related to you!
CAIN: Okay, okay, I get it. God, chill out.
I can't wait to see how over-protective Fluffy will be of his own children. And we're one step closer to finding up - Eli and Avery birthdays, go!
Eli, looking very much like his mother. How much do I love those chubby cheeks? ♥
And Avery, who just as clearly has some Mrmpfle genes in him. Well-done, genetics!
Genetics can only get us so far in life. Unfortunately, they amount for shit when it comes to toddler skills.
REMEMBER: Say mama. Mama.
CHANCE: Toddler-rearing in this house? That's altogether too happy! Stop it, I say, stop it!
CHANCE: There will be no happiness when I am the empress of evil! None!
CHANCE: Yes, one day, it will happen. Until then, beware!
Okay, I don't usually reuse the same gif but . . .
I decided that Chance should probably get out of the house, for reasons that should be quite obvious, and so she, following in her grandmother's footsteps, headed down to the fire station to
CHANCE: Prepare yourselves, boys. I'm here.
CHANCE: Yes, prey!
I feel that it is time to stop referring to your boyfriend as "prey," tbqh.
ROSS (simpairment): This is the girl I was thinking of having babies with? Is there something wrong with me?
Well, he seems rather well-ensnared. I think it's pure strategy for Chance to wear a top like that to prepare for hugs from her intended.
CHANCE: I'm so happy to see you, Ross. I think you've gotten more muscled in our time apart, which can only be a good thing.
I'd say that's a resounding yes.
I also appreciate how Ross' very-appropriately-dressed is pretending not to look at them as they OM NOM NOM each other's faces off. Thank you, kind lady.
CHANCE: We should do this more often. What do you say, hot stuff?
And now a break from Chance's success at romance (of all people) to the complete opposite.
WTF IS WITH THE STAND-OFF.
SILAS: Well, this is awkward.
LIAM: How dare you do that to me! How dare you!
ARIA: But Liam, I don't even know what I did to you!
LIAM: You have kissed another man! Even though I am dead and this happened months ago and you never actually cheated on me, I AM ENRAGED.
NORO: I'm just going to stare off into space here and pretend I'm not here . . .
ARIA: Come on, Liam, I love you, you are my sun and stars. Can't we just forget about all of this, since it doesn't even make sense anyway?
LIAM: No. No, we cannot.
ARIA: Fine. Let's be mad at each other then. Even though I've gotten tired of trying to track down Ezra at the fire station, I will join you in being mad about this situation.
So, um, thanks for that, Generations.
NORO: Oh, hey, I know how to diffuse some tension. Look over here, everyone!
ilu Noro ♥
The girls then proceeded to play video games to wipe away the awkwardness. Aww, my elderly heiresses.
Liam, of course, joined in to spend some quality time with his daughters. I've almost forgiven him for making a scene out of nothing.
Of course, then Cain has to go make a scene out of nothing.
CAIN: What. Are. You. Trying. To. Tell me, hand? BEGONE!
CAIN: Oh, look at the time - it's time for me to go!
Go? Go where?
Oooooooooooh. Well then.
CAIN: Hey, Sam, I was wondering, and it's cool if you don't want to, but I was just wondering and thought it couldn't hurt to ask, and it couldn't, could it? But you like stars, right? Who doesn't like stars, they're pretty, so you must like stars. Unless you don't. And that's cool too, you don't have to like stars, but if you do like them, I was wondering, do you want to go watch them with me?
CAIN: I'm glad you like the stars, Sam.
SAM: Yeah, well, as you said, who doesn't, right?
CAIN: Yep. So. This got kind of awkward. And Fluffy grounded me so I hope this is worth it. Should I try to make it worth it? Maybe?
Worth it, Cain?
CAIN: I know you agreed to go to prom with me and all, but since we'll actually be aging up before then, how about, you know, just being my boyfriend? Maybe?
SAM: Oh, um, look, Cain, I like how things are with us right now. Let's not mess with that, okay?
SAM: I don't mean any offense but you get what I'm saying, right?
CAIN: Oh, yeah, I get it, and we can just go on as we are, I guess . . .
Playing hard to get, Sam? I SEE HOW IT IS. Game on, Sam. Game. On.
LUNO: I approve of Ross - he could give me more nieces and nephews to steal! I mean play with. More nieces and nephews to play with.
CHANCE: Hey, baby, why don't you turn around for me? Let me see that booty pop.
If you've been to my tumblr in the last day or two, then you'll know where my mind's been at. And that place is here.
I suppose it would've been too much to ask for Chance to not have a meltdown at touching a male for more than two seconds. Baby steps, Chance, baby steps.
This is how I found out that Luca died. Luca . . . ;_;
A mother should not outlive her son, this is just too sad. I need to look around the house for a happy moment.
Which will not be found with Glory upstairs. She and Luca had been best friends since her childhood. MY HEART. IT BREAKS.
Okay, happiness, we need happiness . . .
Cu- wait, what is going on here?
ANDREW: Don't blame me, I'm just in it for the money!
SAVANNA (brilliantcat): That's right, I'm in town now.
I like to think that Re sensed a disturbance in the force, so to speak, as she mastered the martial arts skill. Some words of wisdom for Savanna, from the gospel of Omar Little: You come at the king, you best not miss.
Zephyrus was meanwhile oblivious to the probable hurricane hitting downtown Redcliffs.
ZEPHYRUS: Okay, Eli, you've got the toybox, the dollhouse, and the potty, and Daddy will just be having a quick bite to eat in the other room. I love you, buddy.
Perhaps not the best place to leave the baby, Zeph.
Namely because another force of evil is becoming distinctly more self-sufficient not ten feet away.
MYLA: So, how do I look? Fabulous, right?
Much better! She rolled rebellious, like, great, thanks for that. But hey, she is super-cute, so I suppose it evens out, right?
. . . or perhaps not?
MYLA: Muahaha, I can now begin to put my plans into action! Where to begin, where to begin . . .?
ELI: *giggles in the corner*
NO ELI DON'T DRAW HER ATTENTION.
MYLA: Hey, baby brother, want a treat?
ELI: Treat, treat!
MYLA: Okay, here it comes!
MYLA: Mmm, this lollipop sure is good. Probably the best lollipop I've ever had! Too bad I only have one. Better luck next time, baby bro.
To take a page out of arisily's books, I fee like a toddler would have fully-formed thoughts, at the very least. IT'S SCIENCE OK.
ELI: At least I have you, Patterns. We'll show her! One day, Patterns, one day . . .
NEXT TIME, romance! Lots of romance! And birthdays, lots of those too! Including Luno and Cain's transitions to adulthood, finally. Yay! Oh, and a death. Less yay. And all this will be coming to you in less time than it took for the current update!
Also, if you weren't already aware, Ares, Biko, and Chance very belatedly went up for download earlier this week - you can snag them here!
Current Music: will do (xxxchange dancehall mix): tv on the radio