PREVIOUSLY, more China adventures, which ended abruptly when Tautou wet herself. Oh, dear. And a whole night of birthdays - Jude, Daisy, Glory, Degausser, Guernica, and Carolina. Literally a whole night. The result of such birthdays was that I decided that Glory would be heir. Because I love her. As do some of you, as proven by the hypothetical heir poll. But a lot of you love some others more/want to kill me, so she may not be the only heir. But let's not worry about that just yet.
And welcome to Egypt! Yes, more WA spam, I'm sorry, but I just couldn't let go of Luca, Logan, Jude
Jude arrives looking for ~love. Or, at the very least, looking to replicate his sexy dancing with a too-old-for-him woman. Standards, he has them.
Daisy, on the other hand, arrives thinking about marrying a rich husband and then killing him off. Because that is basically what her LTW boils down to.
Logan arrives nonplussed by this whole thing.
LOGAN: You turned down this face for heir? Really?
Logan, baby, let me tell you, it is you I will miss the most. ♥
And let me officially present our generation two heiress, Glory! She began stealing my heart as a child, and throughout her teen years, well, was there ever any question? As long as she grew up pretty - AND SHE DID - she pretty much had this in the bag. The only question is, who, if anyone, will join her to carry on the Crescendo name?
GLORY: It's so lovely here. So much history, so much adventure! It's almost overwhelming, deciding what to do first.
GLORY: I know, I'll play my guitar!
Like hell you will, you're going exploring.
Was not kidding.
I love that they have these scooters to get around on in Egypt. It's probably one of the only things I really appreciated here, tbh.
Well, and the treasure. Despite Aria's great salary and Liam's royalties, we have ELEVEN CHILDREN. That means that all that money has gone to expanding the house. I want to make it pretty, please! So, boys, treasure? Go at it!
Daisy, on the other hand, was doing what TS3 apparently classifies as "Evil Dancing." Looks pretty malicious to me.
Oh, Daisy. This may be one of the few times that I will ever say it, but I will miss you. Perhaps despite myself, you terror.
The boys had apparently moved on from treasure hunting by the time I drew myself away from Daisy.
LUCA: . . . so I said, "That be whack, yo!"
LOGAN: *is duly unimpressed*
LUCA: Don't like my story? How about THIS? Huh, huh?
Sparring matches are ~srs bzns for the eldest Crescendo boys, apparently.
And . . . GO! /Phil Keoghan
LOGAN: Wait, GO? Um, I'm not so sure of this . . .
Too late, Logan, Luca's already entered his ~intense mindset.
Work it, Logan!
Logan apparently did not work it hard enough, as Luca won. Such is life.
In less intense news, Jude and Glory decided to explore a tomb or something.
GLORY: Yeah. Awesome.
Jude, working out trick doors!
Moving the heavy statues!
JUDE: Daisy will *pant* rue the *pant* day she ever *pant* told me I was scrawny!
GLORY: Yeah, I think France would've been better. Mona Lisa and all that. Much better than drafty old tombs. France. Definitely.
Meanwhile, Daisy found someone interesting to talk to. She looks entirely too excited. It must be some sort of ploy.
Oh, it's a boy!
RANDOM EGYPTIAN GUY: So you're here to find true love, did I hear that correctly?
RANDOM EGYPTIAN GUY: Well, as long as true love doesn't equal marriage - marriage is WHACK!
Random Egyptian Guy, have you met Luca? You should.
DAISY: So, what are your thoughts on money?
RANDOM EGYPTIAN GUY: Money?
DAISY: You know, cash. Dollars. Bundles of cold, hard bills.
RANDOM EGYPTIAN GUY: Oh, money's great! I love money!
DAISY: I can see his ghost already.
Sadly, Random Egyptian Guy was a fan of money because he doesn't have any. Thus Daisy decided to split.
But not before scaring his father.
RANDOM EGYPTIAN FATHER: Oh, my heart!
Back at base camp, Daisy found this French tourist. I want to say his name is Remy. I want to, but I may be lying. Either way, he, as a true Frenchman, spoke of one of the main ideals of a true French Bohemian, love.
FRENCH TOURIST: Ah, ma belle! Mon coeur, il appartient à tu.
DAISY: I could work with this . . .
Remember how a couple of updates ago Jude and Glory were bonding on the couch? Yeah, that wasn't a one-time thing.
I think they'll count this trip as a failure if they're not absolute bffs by the end of it.
JUDE: Glory, seriously, you brighten my day. I mean that, straight from the heart.
Heart's on the other side, buddy.
GLORY: That is so touching! In fact, I have a song to perfectly express my emotions. ♫ Friends sing together, lalalala, friends do things together, lalalala . . . ♪
Somehow, I don't think Jude is too focused on singalongs right now.
WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND FIRE? AND GIVING ME A HEART ATTACK? GODDAMNIT JUDE.
Okay, how can I stay mad at a face like that?
Reason #4,556,862 that Glory is heir over Archer. Thank you, Glory.
JUDE: Get my butt, I'll cover my eyes.
Away from that little tragedy in the making, Luca was elected to be the one to do the mundane task of shopping for recipes and all that stuff you can only get in each country. But he's not really that mundane, I promise!
See? AIR-BOXING WITH HIMSELF. Luca, ilu.
Which one is the romantic couple? Really, just guess. You can't, can you?
DAISY: You know what, I'm still not really feeling this whole relationship thing.
Ah, now you can probably guess which of the two is the romantic couple. *headdesk*
P.S. Yes, that is burnt!Jude chatting to Glory in the background. The pictures may be out of order by about one Sim hour. The gist of it remains the same: Jude and Glory are inseparable. That is what you should take away from this, not any wrong, so very, very wrong, romantic notions.
DAISY: Going for a run to clear my head, get away from all this romance garbage.
DAISY: SPEAKING OF GARBAGE . . .
Feeling accomplished there, Daisy?
DAISY: I feel awesome!
And this is what she did upon returning to camp. Being heinous turns her on - who knew?
. . .
Actually, I probably could've guessed that, tbh.
Oh, what a segué, from Daisy's turn ons to what I can only assume was a very indecent suggestion by Jude. Let's take a closer look.
Glory (along with Annie, Britta, Troy, scapegoat-Pierce, and Abed) is HORRIFIED, y'all.
Not horrified enough to shun Jude, mind you. They're still besties.
JUDE: Check out Daisy making out with that French guy. I bet he's not even rich - how funny would THAT be?
GLORY: He's probably just interested in her for her body, if you know what I mean.
Ah, malicious gossip about Daisy. I'm down with that.
JUDE: *checks out Glory's ass* Hey, Glory, have I told you how good you look?
NOT DOWN WITH THAT. GROSS. WHY THE FUCK YOU SAY THESE THINGS.
WHAT, ARE YOU MAD THAT I CANCELLED YOUR INTERACTION TO FOLLOW HER INTO THE TENT? Cry me a river, Jude. Jesus Christ.
In other news, Luca vs. Logan, take two. Will Luca's superior martial arts skills dominate once again or will Logan's thirst for revenge overpower his rival?
If you couldn't guess from Logan's
GLORY: OMG BUTTERFLIES! *is delighted*
Glory, darling, this is exactly why I chose you for heir. ♥
GLORY: How are you, you majestic creature?
It seems like Glory got more than enough peacefulness from the butterflies, because she decided it was high time to take on Logan.
GLORY: C'mon, Logan, put up your dukes!
LOGAN: Oh, come oooonnnn. Really?
GLORY: Get ready to go down!
I don't have any pictures documenting it, but Glory won. Despite having, clearly, a lower martial arts skill than Logan.
LOGAN: I am starting with a blank slate with my new belt. A blank slate of FIERCENESS.
You do that.
Oh, and in another underwhelmingly obvious action, Jude instantly ran over to chat with Glory the second she wrapped up her fight with Logan. I am Jack's complete lack of surprise. /Fight Club
Well THIS is a surprising development! However, in a perfect demonstration of fuckery, before I could further explore this little bit of LOL WUT-ness, the vacation ended. As it would.
NEXT TIME, back to an actual legacy. I know, I've clearly forgotten what that is, what with all these vacations and all. But there will be spouse-hunting! And *gasp choke sob* probably some moving out. I am going to be a WRECK. Join me, won't you?
As an aside, a major THANK YOU for everyone who has voted in the heir poll, hypothetical as it may (?) be. Just over forty votes in a twenty-four hour span - you guys! I was completely and utterly blown away by that. You are all amazing. ♥
Current Music: driveway: great northern