PREVIOUSLY, Degausser, Guernica, and Carolina finally moved out, just in time for Noro to give birth to twins, Biko and Chance. Remember and Ares aged up to a child and a toddler, respectively. Glory and Silas (sixamsims) continued to woohoo like mad, as did Noro and Andrew (samannah), no news there. Oh, and with the addition of Chance, we now stand at two good, and two evil kids. And now onto my biggest entry yet because apparently I didn't feel like splitting things up!
This was the mess that greeted me upon reloading my game. Apparently while taking care of Sunday's favorite water fountain of a tub, the kitchen kind of got forgotten. FANTASTIC.
ARIA: Goddamn floors and counters and sinks . . .
ANDREW: I think I'm just going to go sit over there.
Probably for the best.
It was just around this point that Silas rolled the want to hire a butler, which seemed like a pretty sound idea to me. Wish granted!
I SEE YOUR ULTERIOR MOTIVES THERE, SILAS. WISH NOT GRANTED.
Much better. Well, if we ignore the butler creepily watching, but I'm choosing to ignore that.
Despite her initial impression, she's actually helping out around the house, so that's good. It gives everyone else time for more important things.
Like family dinners!
GLORY: I think it's really important that we spend some time together, just our family. It's important to appreciate one another.
SUNDAY: So when you and Dad spend all that time in your room, are you just appreciating each other like you did in front of the TV last week? Is that what it means to be a family?
In this house, yes, that is basically what it means.
NORO: Why can't I get the bed off my mind? Must be time for woohoo, I suppose!
Beds can be used for things other than woohoo, you know.
AVERT YOUR EYES, YOUNG ZEPHYRUS.
Not like it'd do him much good, because they are all not only insatiable but single-minded. Their single-mindedness can be summed up thusly:
MOVING MYSELF AND ZEPH ON TO APPROPRIATE THINGS NOW . . .
REMEMBER: I have a nagging feeling about Ares, Zeph. I'm just not sure about him, and think we need some preemptive plans for when he can get down stairs and all.
ZEPHYRUS: Interesting idea, Re, but he's a baby. We don't need to worry about him right now.
I'm with Zeph, Ares doesn't make me quake in my boots just yet. Chance, on the other hand . . .
CHANCE: Now is the time to strike, before they suspect anything.
CHANCE: . . . I am surrounded by amateurs.
Speaking of amateurs . . . And she was doing so well with her butler duties, too!
Jude's daughter Marcie comes home with the kids a lot.
ARIA: Is this all an elaborately drawn out plan to run away from home?
MARCIE: Oh, Grandma, I just want to spend more time with you.
RANDOM PAPARAZZO: I want to spend more time with her too. Why can't we be friends?
RANDOM PAPARAZZO: What does that little girl have that I don't? WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?
He just kinda . . . materialized there, didn't he? O_o
NORO: I spy with my little eye . . . my oldest brother!
LUCA: Um, what's up?
NORO: Glory sent me to get you. She said there's no way she's aging up without her best friend there, even if you guys don't really hang out anymore.
Yep, we're sending Glory into adulthood in style, with a huge guest list comprised almost entirely of family!
Don't look too excited now, Carolina.
CAROLINA: But why do I have to come? I don't want to celebrate anything revolving around her.
. . . I may have forgotten that Glory and Carolina hate each other. Probably forgot that because I've no idea why they hate each other.
GUERNICA: I can see the cake from here. Interesting . . .
FIREPROOF HOMESTEAD REWARD, HARBINGER OF DOOM. BOOM.
I . . . haven't a clue who these two are. And they certainly weren't invited, as there was only one non-family member even invited. But they don't look too malicious, so party on?
Ezra here is the one non-family member whom was actually invited. Aria is still nursing a little crush on my favorite town gigolo, so he made the exclusive guest list.
ARIA: Did you take the night off from work? I know how crazy your firefighting schedule can be.
EZRA: Oh, yeah, I didn't want to miss the party though. Hey, thanks for throwing this party, by the way.
ARIA: Oh, it's nothing. You're so sweet - I mean, that's so sweet of you.
RANDOM UNINVITED GUEST: IS THAT CAKE?
If this party is a flop, it's not for a lack of people, that's for sure. Also clear from this picture, REDHEADS ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD. Tell your friends.
GLORY: What to wish for, what to wish for . . . THIS IS HARD.
I just realized that Glory never got a birthday cake before. Oops.
Thanks for showing up, Carolina. Your warm presence is always appreciated.
Whatever, at least Luca is happy for Glory. ♥
DAISY: Ugh, I'm expected to clap and act excited for her? YAWN.
WAIT WHAT. Unexpected reaction is . . . unexpected.
ANDREW: Is this a birthday?! You don't say!
Gah, kill me with your cute facial expressions, boy.
Speaking of cute facial expressions, the ever-expressive Glory! Please relish this last shot of young, beautiful Glory.
Despite that easily-impressed trait, Glory does not look impressed. Quite frankly, I wouldn't be either. Wrinkles? Bah! She does, however, get a makeover as she's now the mother of three teenagers with quite the career on the rise.
REMEMBER: Food! I need food!
Behind you! Look behind you!
REMEMBER: If I don't get food soon, somebody's going to meet my fist, I swear!
And you're a GOOD Sim?
In case you were wondering why everyone was thinking of Archer behind Re there, it's because she's being typical Archer. You can change a girl's hair, but you can't change the girl herself.
EZRA: Yeah, you boo her! Yeah!
Ezra spent Noro's wedding booing Archer, if you recall. I see his influence has spread.
Despite the obvious discord, the party is a success and everyone loves each other. Well, now that Carolina's gone, I guess. And I don't see Daisy anywhere, so there you have it.
Hi, Liam! Going to come inside and actually, you know, join the party?
LIAM: I'm good out here.
Fair enough, really.
ARIA: You know, I think we need a pool. You know all the things I could do with a pool?!
LOGAN: Um, Mom, I don't know about that idea-
ARIA: But a POOL!
What is this, the Parvenu legacy?
LOGAN: Okay, Mom, whatever you say. But just a warning, I don't think pools are great to have when you have young children and babies in the house.
LUCA: Hmm, babies. There's an interesting thought . . .
Allow Luca to segué you to the next picture . . .
NORO: Urgh, I'm not feeling so well. Was it that cake?
NORO: I think it was the cake!
Whereas I am certain that it's not.
This is Andrew's want panel. Do you understand why I'm very certain it's not the cake?
Let's . . . not talk about this, mmkay?
Aww, look at that, synchronized dreaming.
. . . Or not so much.
Silas wakes up the next morning, feeling fabulously fantastic.
SILAS: I just had sex and it felt so good!
There was a lack of Emma Kate in this update, and given what's coming next, I felt I should rectify that. ♥
What's coming next, you ask? We-elllll . . .
SUNDAY: I get to have my birthday in front of my favorite tub? This is awesome!
Bathroom birthdays seem to be a staple in the Crescendos, though no one is as excited about it as Sunday.
Well, there's a herp derp face if I ever did see one.
EMMA KATE: How embarrassing, quick, play it off! YAY, BIRTHDAY!
Meanwhile, in the front porch area . . .
ZEPHYRUS: Yay, birthday! Dad, it's my birthday! Uncle Andrew, I'm having my birthday! . . . Dad? Uncle Andrew?
ZEPHYRUS: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
SILAS: Wait, we have more functioning testosterone in the house? Yay, birthday!
ANDREW: Yay, testosterone! . . . I mean, birthday.
ZEPHYRUS: A bit late on that, yeah?
REMEMBER: Yay, birthday. I'm so happy that my best friend is growing up and leaving me behind in childhood, this is great. Yay.
Um, Re, DID YOU SEE HIM AGED UP? HAPPY, HAPPY DAY.
Makeover time! Yes, even for Zeph, who aged up into actually decent hair. Shocking!
Sunday rolled never nude. Of course she did. So, this is what Silas would look like as teenaged girl. Who knew his lips would translate to HUGE on a female?
Emma Kate rolled perfectionist, furthering her total mommy complex (she rolled the LTW to be an International Super Spy, which is the job Glory is very close to achieving). She is a fantastic blend of her parents, I must say.
And finally Zeph, who rolled hopeless romantic. UM, WITH THOSE LOOKS YOU DON'T NEED ANY HELP FROM YOUR PERSONALITY TO GET THE GIRLS, just sayin'. He, like Sunday, takes very strongly after his father. But clone or not, isn't he pretty?
Zeph's first autonomous act as a teen is to gossip with Remember. So, no, Re, I don't think you have to worry about him abandoning you now that he's a teen. Now let's deal with that gossip:
1. I'm pretty sure that Zephyrus had, in fact, heard that Andrew has the cooking skill, given that he's surely eaten a meal or two cooked by Andrew.
2. Andrew's RIGHT THERE, guys. C'mon now.
ANDREW: Aww, look at the kids chatting - I WANT ONE.
Simmer down, boy!
Okay, Andrew, HAPPY NOW?
Remember the butler Paulina, and how she was actually decent, other than passing out that one time? Yeah, she's found her ~true calling~ and it is cooking. Mainly goopy carbonara. Because what this household really needs is five family-sized servings of goopy carbonara to complete the ten other leftover dishes in the fridge.
'Tis official. Whether I'm talking about the pregnancy or my obvious insanity, well, that's up to you.
GLORY: Why ever did I decide I want this again?
Fuck if I know.
GLORY: Oh, I can feel it kicking! How cool!
NORO: I know, right?
I do think it's very cute to have two pregnant Sims in the house at the same time, and other than a lot of nausea, these girls always have super-easy pregnancies.
GLORY: Now, I don't want you to excuse me of trying to steal your property or anything, but I'm also pregnant. Please don't be mad!
NORO: Well. That's just. Swell. Good for you.
NORO: Hey, speaking of people who are good and would never try to steal my moment, did you know that Remember is good?
GLORY: Really, this is how you want to play it? Whatever.
On a side note, this is what counts as celebrity gossip in this town. Scandalous!
Oh, look at that, Paulina passed out again. YOU HAVE A BED. IT IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT WALL, RIGHT THERE.
NORO: How embarrassing.
GLORY: I can take care of this. Get ready to be slapped awake, incompetent butler!
I'm not entirely sure that's necessary, Miss Maxed Athletic Skill.
Aria was invited to a pool party at Jackie (siouxpergirl) and Luca's house. Despite the lack of pool, Aria gamely showed up in her rather inappropriate metallic string bikini.
ARIA: I know a thing or two about throwing parties, let me tell you. In fact, at the last party I threw, I found out one daughter was pregnant and then the other one got pregnant! If that's not the sign of a successful party, I don't know what is.
ARIA: Say, have you ever thought about getting pregnant at a party? This party, for example?
JACQUELINE: You know, I see the logic in that.
I bet you do, Jacqueline. According to SP, Luca and Jackie need no help in the romance department.
However, Emma Kate apparently needs help in the eating department.
EMMA KATE: Goddamn you, goopy carbonara! The butler's trying to kill me, I swear. If I die, just know that the butler did it.
Emma Kate had the butler's attempted murder on her mind even when she went to sleep.
EMMA KATE: I don't want to die, not yet.
EMMA KATE: There's so much I haven't accomplished in life, like meeting a buff, totally hot guy. How could I die without meeting a super built man?
EMMA KATE: And marrying him! I need to marry the buff, super-hot guy before I die. Otherwise it's just not fair!
I think you'd be well-suited to being a legacy heir, m'dear.
OMG I GET IT. YOU WANT ANOTHER KID. KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS.
Glory doesn't just stand around thinking about how much she wants kids, she actually interacts with the kids as well.
GLORY: Now, I'll let you down when you promise that you'll reconsider the whole being evil thing. We had an evil family member already, that didn't work out so well for me.
CHANCE: She's . . . touching me. I can feel the goodness sinking through my pores. IT FEELS DISGUSTING.
GLORY: Okay, I can feel the evil in this one. This may be beyond me.
It's okay, let's try for another one!
Noro's brothers always stick around after their shifts if Noro's in labor. They care, they really do! Despite how Jude's thought bubbles are always about either himself or Glory!
And we have a single girl, Luno, her name so chosen because Noro's own name is like Nora-but-with-an-o, so why can't this one be Luna-but-with-an-o? She is a neurotic genius.
I'm pretty sure we could find use for a genius in the house, tbh. What's that, you say? Andrew's a genius?
Hey, look, it's a birthday!
ZEPHYRUS: Yeah, Re, you become a teenager! Whoo!
EMMA KATE: *is a stone cold fox*
REMEMBER: I get to be a teenager like Zeph! This is the best day ever!
Well, it's certainly a good day, my little eco-friendly beauty. She's definitely Noro's daughter, no doubt about that. ♥
GLORY: Let me play a birthday song in celebration!
GLORY: ♪ Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you . . . ♫
Innovative song, Glory.
ZEPHYRUS: I can't believe I lost my cool and cheered like that. How embarrassing.
ZEPHYRUS: I'll just go eat my cake alone over here.
Awww, Zeph. ♥
Oops, there was another birthday that night. And thus Ares grew up all alone upstairs. In my defense, there's been a lot of birthdays lately.
Mean-spirited? Wonderful. I see he didn't take Glory's threats to heart. Though he is dressing like he did. Stealth jerk!
NORO: At least you still have a chance to be a nice child.
And maybe this one will have a chance too. LAST BIRTH OF THE GENERATION, Y'ALL. Well, it better be, anyway.
A single birth?! I HONESTLY THOUGHT GLORY WAS GOING TO HAVE TRIPLETS AGAIN! THIS IS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!
Anyway, meet Cain, who is insane and athletic. Well, at least it's not insane and neurotic. *coughcoughARCHERcough*
Oh, look, I actually put up all the heir portraits. Aria, Glory + Noro. ♥
PAULINA. LOOK AT YOUR LIFE, LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES. Actually, to be more apt, LOOK AT THE NUMBER OF MEALS YOU'VE STARTED AND NOT FINISHED PREPARING.
GLORY: You know, I'm really not sure about this butler. There's kind of been a constant stench around this place lately, and I don't know if it's the food sitting out on the counters or the butler herself, but we should probably figure out what it is and take care of it.
HMM, I WONDER WHAT THE STENCH COULD BE?
PAULINA: Ugh, what is that smell?
YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PRIVATE BATHROOM. WITH A SHOWER! USE IT, JUST ONCE, PLEASE. You know what, I'm with Glory on this; we need to "take care" of the stench.
SILAS: You know, Paulina, when I first met you, I thought you were pretty cool. But you smell like garbage now, and that? It's not cool.
SILAS: Oh, God, I'm going to vomit. You know what? Go. You're done.
PAULINA: What? But I was just waiting to skinny dip in the hot tub with you, just like you wanted!
SILAS: Just go.
And thus is the story of how the Crescendos had a butler for a very short period of time. We weren't short on the amount of fail, however.
Somebody's happy about the firing of Paulina.
EMMA KATE: What an interesting scene that just unfolded in front of my eyes - the butler can't do it now! And by "it" I mean "kill me."
And somebody else is not so happy about it.
ANDREW: The butler's fired?! But who's going to get me my cornflakes now?</i>
ARES: Really, Dad? I can get my own cornflakes, and I'm six!
In the aftermath of the Paulina firing, Glory and Aria finished cooking all the meals Paulina had started. Which I'm sure Glory was just thrilled about.
Her husband was unavailable to help her with that little mess, as he was off ghost busting at Tautou's house again. Is her house like, a magnet for ghosts or something? IDK. What I do know is that her eldest two daughters are utterly adorable and identical, save for their eye color and for the elf ears that Winter there is rocking.
Re and Zeph are pretty much inseparable. My two little shy Sims. ♥
ZEPHYRUS: Hey, Re, can I ask you something?
REMEMBER: Mm-hmm, sure.
ZEPHYRUS: What's the best way for me to go about meeting girls? I mean, I really want to meet that perfect girl and have that perfect life with her, but whenever I open my mouth, I just can't manage to get the right words out. So, since you're a girl, right, got any suggestions for me? Should I rely on being smart? My grades are pretty good, I think, and I can work on that - I mean, my parents are pretty brilliant and all, maxed logic and all that - so should I just work with what I've got? That's gotta be for the best, right? I mean, I can't be someone else, so what other angles can I really work?
REMEMBER: Head . . . spinning . . . too many . . . words . . . You know, I don't think book-smarts are really the way to go. If we're talking about working with what you have, then maybe go the route of your mom's other skill?
ZEPHYRUS: You mean the athletic skill?
ZEPHYRUS: Must get buff. Buff = good. Buff.
Leaving Zeph to his ~motivational dreams~, Re chilled in the hot tub for a while longer, long enough to attract a background creep, at least. Wait, that's totally the paparazzo Remember knew as a child who is now checking out her nubile teenaged body in the hot tub. NEVERENDING SHUDDERING, UGH.
EMMA KATE: So, I heard you two attracted some trashy old man in the hot tub there. Good going.
REMEMBER: We don't want to talk about it.
Nor do I, so let's move on to something more pleasant, shall we?
GLORY: This house is beautifully decorated!
No, I didn't mean we'd move on to that, décor ninja.
I meant birthdays!
SUNDAY: Haha, you're getting OLD!
Um . . .
Biko rolled good sense of humor. He seems like the pleasant sort. Aside from Andrew's hair, I think he looks a lot like Noro.
Chance, with her brand new coward trait inherited from her dad. My hopes are high for this array of traits, let me tell you.
It was Luno's birthday as well! Noro finally had a child with her hair color, and from the looks of things, Luno is going to inherit a lot more from Noro than just a hair color. Clearly she is adorable.
Oh, and since Cain is only a few hours younger than Luno, he had a birthday too. Very heavy on Glory's coloring, equally heavy on Silas' features - I can already see Silas' lips there for sure.
BIKO: So, this is what it's like to be a child, and be a full member of the family. I can be included in games and conversations, and it's going to be awesome! Yep. Just have to wait for somebody to include me. It'll come.
Chance is quick to jump on that.
CHANCE: The way I figure, we've got to act quickly with Luno. She's either with us, or against us!
Um, I wouldn't be so sure that Biko is with you, Chance.
Though Ares is a bit preoccupied himself at the moment.
ARES: You're dead, hey? What's that like?
ARES: Oh. . . . Hey, what about hell? Does that exist? Or you're a ghost, so I guess you're in purgatory. That sucks.
NORO: Whoa, whoa, none of that, please. Can't we all just get along?
Liam vetoed that actual socializing aspect required to, you know, get along in favor of the hot tub, WHICH I DID NOT KNOW GHOSTS COULD USE. Also, I am way too amused with the cute "look, feet!" interaction, especially when used by a ghost.
I don't really have much time to enjoy that particular moment, because Aria has other plans, which I am in no way going to stop.
WAIT WHAT. Okay, THAT I would stop. WTF?! I just . . . I don't even know anymore.
Yeah, I bet you think she's okay, Liam. Normally I'd be wtf-ing over the "fiancé" thing but it's no "Try for Baby!" on the fuckery scale.
ARIA: Aww, gone so soon? But we didn't even get to try for a baby, what a shame. Next time, I suppose!
NEXT TIME, shenanigans! Birthdays, and ghosts, and teenaged clubbing - oh, THE HORROR.