PREVIOUSLY, we had a lot of birthdays. Nine, to be exact. Liam aged to elder, Luca and Logan both became young adults, and the second set of triplets, Noro, Tautou, and Archer, all became teens. Also, Aria gave birth to a FINAL set of triplets, a boy, Degausser, and two girls, Guernica and Carolina. They all aged into toddlers at one point, too. Everyone had to take care of babies, much to the disdain of Luca and the glee and related consternation of Daisy and myself, respectively. Oh, and Glory pulled faces, mostly pouty ones, all the time. Important, no?
Everyone in this family has decided that the main bathroom is the best place to do anything with the toddlers: feed them, teach them to talk, put them down for fun . . . Good teamwork, guys. Degausser looks like he's really enjoying this innovative approach to toddler-rearing.
Well, at least one of my toddlers is happy. Thank you, Noro. You are, so far, full of win.
NORO: And beauty!
Yes, and beauty.
NORO: And style!
You are full of a lot of things, including, but not limited to: win, beauty, style, and yourself.
Oh, COME ON. You're off the floor, in a comfy crib, what more could you want?!
Let's tear our attention away from that grumpy little bastard, and focus on my founder becoming an elder. Aria seems to think this is a happy moment - I BEG TO DIFFER.
Adorable, to the surprise of, I assume, absolutely nobody.
The blonde ones and the maladjusted ones of my elder two sets of triplets sit down to enjoy a nice bonding dinner. Over discussions of . . . a new house? Daisy, you've lived in this house since you were born. Ah, well, the bonding can't be going that well anyway. Noro and Glory, perhaps, but Archer is socially incompetent, and Daisy is, well, Daisy.
ARCHER: What do you mean, socially incompetent? I'm a fucking ray of sunshine.
This doesn't look like an awkward gathering at all! Tautou must be considering the personality types around her and how she would like to fit into this household. On one side, you have Logan, smiling awkwardly and oh-so-endearingly. On the other, Daisy, wishing that looks really could kill.
Really, Tautou? Daisy?!
TAUTOU: So, I hear you liked astronauts at one point. I feel that.
True story, Daisy's LTW WAS to become an astronaut. One day, I opened up a the game, and it had magically changed to being a gold-digger (see the death of a wealthy spouse). I decided that the automatic change was telling me something (ie, Daisy is horrible), and decided she could keep it. I kinda like it better for her, ngl.
Oh, Archer, is this another
Here, to help the girls out, I'll present A Lesson in Making Friends by Glory Crescendo:
Step one: Stake out the most popular place in the house. In this family, that would be the couch.
Step two: Bond over mutual likes and dislikes. In this example, we see Glory bonding with Tautou over colorful garbage.
Step three: Let the conversation flow!
Result: A happy girl with a new friend! She makes it look so easy.
One of the kids was holding Carolina when they went off to school. Instead of putting the toddler down before going out the door, like you would assume, one of the morons decided to take her to school, and leave her behind the school. A+ genius.
Aria gets Carolina safely into her crib, and begins thinking about grandchildren. HOLD UP. Let's not get ahead of ourselves; we still have three toddlers to raise here!
TAUTOU: Sooooo, I was kinda wondering - maybe I could take your picture? I mean, there's going to come a point in life where I'm going to want something to remember my family by, and you're one of the least crazy portions of it, so it might as well be you, right?
LOGAN: Hmm, that's kind of a back-handed compliment, isn't it?
TAUTOU: C'mon, bro, whaddya say?
I say that you don't have a camera, Tautou. Your parents do, in their inventories, but you? Do not. Try to bond with Logan some other way for now, darling.
LOGAN: So, how do you feel about salsa? Because someone told me that girls think Latin dancing is sexy, and-
TAUTOU: You want me to make some salsa? Do you like mild or hot or, like, super-spicy? Because I can totally do any of those! That's what friends do, right? Make each other salsa, and hang out together, eating chips and salsa on the couch, and just being friends! Logan, what kind of salsa do you like? Logan? Logan?
GLORY: Not salsa the food, salsa the DANCE. Get a grip!
TAUTOU: Um, I'm pretty sure we're talking about food here.
LOGAN: . . . Yeah, I was talking about salsa dancing.
Oh, Tautou. Between you and Archer, the second set of triplets is kind of full of social fail, aren't they?
Well, except for Noro, it appears.
NORO: Hey, kittenmittons, I'm one of the guys!
LUCA: She just kinda invited herself along, sat down right there.
LOGAN: We don't really know how to tell her it was supposed to be a guys' night . . .
JUDE: Wait, is Noro a guy? She's not, is she? Because that would explain why she kind of looks like me.
That's called sharing genetics, Jude.
The guys' night was crashed by the other girl in the room, Guernica. Which is too bad because with Liam holding Degausser and watching TV behind the couch, that really IS all the boys in the house plus Noro (and Guernica, kind of). And I will admit, despite crashing the guys' night, at least Noro didn't make as awkward a social situation as Archer and Tautou have. Good for her?
LUCA: Hmm, where did I leave my shirt? I suppose I'll just have to walk around with no shirt until I find my faaaaaavorite shirt. Could I have left it in my room? No, too simple.
Oh, Luca. ♥ I know I've said this to other sims, but being that it hasn't involved them walking around shirtless as much as possible, please know I really mean this: Never change.
And now, a look at a typical day in the Crescendo household:
Glory, making cute faces while playing computer games since I kicked her off the guitar.
DAISY: I'm plotting.
Daisy, making bitchy faces while figuring out how best to be horrible to everyone.
Jude, doing homework.
JUDE: Why am I the only one doing homework in this house?
Because you're actually a genius?
JUDE: But I'm also a party animal, and you don't see me partying, do you? WHY DON'T YOU SEE ME PARTYING?
Logan, the other genius in the house, skilling up and doing sufficiently genius stuff WITHOUT COMPLAINT. Take note, Jude.
Tautou, reluctantly teaching toddler skills.
TAUTOU: Why do I have to teach toddler skills? I'm not her parent!
Yeah, well . . . I really have no response to that. Welcome to the Crescendo family?
Aria, eagerly teaching toddler skills.
ARIA: These are the last toddler skills I'll ever have to teach!
Says the one who eagerly wants to be a grandmother.
Luca, becoming friendly with . . . ARCHER? Archer, wtf?
ARCHER: OMG SOMEBODY IS ACTUALLY TALKING TO ME!
Ah, that's more like it.
ARCHER: Hmm, do you think Luca will still talk to me? We can still be friends, right? Yeah, totally, we're cool.
Yes, because Luca doesn't already have a relatively sane bff - oh wait, he does. That would be Glory. Plus, you, darling Archer, are absent-minded, insane, and neurotic. Wandering off mid-conversation to freak out? That's on you.
Aw, look, a nice family dinner with all the sane children! (See: not Daisy or Archer.) Well, and Logan's not there, but that's to be expected - he's not a huge fan of socializing except on the couch. The ~hotspot of the Crescendo household, if you will.
Dinner was cut short by Noro's mad dash to her bed.
NORO: I have to go to bed, it's very important to get a good night's rest.
More important than a nice dinner with the nicest of your siblings?
NORO: A good night's sleep will influence your entire DAY. You've got to start the day off right, or you don't have a chance.
Wow. Are you sure you're truly a member of this family?
Um, Tautou, shouldn't you be in bed?
TAUTOU: No time to sleep, gotta do homework.
As Noro dreams of cleaning behind you. Okay, she is WAY too good for this family.
Glory is my other autonomous homeworker. Although I'm not sure why they have decided against doing homework together . . .
GLORY: She's not Luca.
We really have to expand your social circle.
Besides, Luca's busy.
LUCA: No, no, no, no, NO. I will NOT pick up the toddler.
Luca . . .
LUCA: I SAID NO!
ARCHER: Fierce. You are fierce. So fierce..
Ah, I see you finally picked up Degausser.
LUCA: THERE ARE TOO MANY BABIES IN THIS HOUSE! IT NEVER ENDS!
And with that, Luca finally cracks. I think he is well-suited to being a legacy heir. I mean, there won't be any toddlers then, right?
I take pity on Luca and let him chill on the couch, toddler-free and with Glory, his best friend, and Liam, whom he wants to become best friends with.
LUCA: If I put rainbow-colored cotton balls in a trash can, would it look like a clown was murdered and stuffed in there? Interesting . . .
I see we need to do a bit more work on your sanity, Luca.
ARCHER: He doesn't even appreciate the company! I could sit there, I would appreciate it!
TAUTOU: One day, maybe if you dream big enough, you can be included too, dearest sister.
I see you're doing the whole "dream" part of that, Tautou.
This is the sight I was greeted with the following morning, all three boys simultaneously jumping out of bed.
DAISY: I wanted to watch TV. I am ~riveted.
You. Are. A bitch.
However, that wake-up seemed to snap Luca out of his toddler-induced crazy.
LUCA: Cleanse the body, cleanse the mind.
Well, Clark Gable seems the be happy about the young, attractive man working out just in front of him. I'm just happy that the young, attractive man is slowly regaining his sanity.
With Luca's crazy followed by fervent working out, Glory was forced to find a new friend for the time being.
GLORY: So, how do you feel about symphony conductors? Distinguished renaissance men, or bound-to-be beggars on the street?
JUDE: Um, distinguished, right? That's the right answer, isn't it? +
OMG Jude, you make Glory-faces too! I fully endorse this friendship just because of any cuteness that could ensue.
ARCHER: Cleaning the stove, they can't help but notice and appreciate me for this, right?
ARCHER: WHY DOESN'T ANYONE NOTICE AND APPRECIATE ME?
Because you're out of your mind all of the damn time? Juuuusssst a thought.
JUDE: Hmm. Well. THAT didn't go quite as planned.
NEXT TIME, FIRE. Efffffffff . . .