Hot damn, I hate this new cut format. DNW THESE TACKY SCISSORS. Erm. *clears throat*
PREVIOUSLY, January, Eli, and Avery all became children - cute children, even! But not before Avery showed his serial killer side in taking great pleasure in Silas' (sixamsims) death. Zephyrus and Pumpkin (simmply_anna) were unable to get married, so Remember and Fluffy (simmply_anna) stepped up to the plate and got married instead. And it was super cute! And romantic! Just ask Ezra; he cried. Cain aged into an adult, leading to him getting rejected in more adult ways by Sam Deens (simpairment) before moving out with Sam to live in what I'm sure will be a very tumultuous common-law relationship. Luno was much more lucky with Julian Marx (legendarysims) - after she aged up, she and Julian got married! :D And then consummated their marriage on Aria's bed! D: Oh, and Chance got into a fight with Remember, as she does, and then won the fight, AS SHE NEVER DOES. So, that was kind of a big deal. AND THEN SILAS (sixamsims) DIED. SADNESS ENSUED. And Avery and Eli grew up into children. Avery did not do it gracefully. But it's okay, because he was totally a bit of a demon toddler, making Silas' death all about him. Like, c'mon, Avery, why you gotta be that way?
Let's pick up right where we left off, shall we?
ROSS (simpairment): Hey, Mrs. Crescendo, are you okay?
NORO: I just, seeing my sister's husband die reminds me that one day, I might see my husband die. It's been so long since my dad passed away that I was able to get by without thinking about mortality, and now it's all I can think about.
ROSS: Hey, but Mrs. Crescendo, it's okay! You have this great house filled with so much family and they'll help you get through anything. Besides, sure, Mr. Crescendo will eventually die, but we all will, and there's no point worrying about the inevitable. You've got to just focus on living your life as it is right now, Mrs. Crescendo.
NORO: You know what? You're absolutely right. Thank you, Ross, that does make me feel better, at least a bit.
NORO: You are much too good for my daughter, you know.
ROSS: Oh. Um . . . I'll keep that in mind.
NORO: Seriously. Much too good.
Given that I couldn't count on Ross to get everyone out of their funk, and do you know how depressing it is to play a house of approximately fifteen Sims with absolutely everyone in mourning? OMG IT IS SO DEPRESSING. Hence, I decided that I just wouldn't play that.
Welcome to Shang-Simla, Re and Fluffy!
REMEMBER: Why must you take us away from my family in our time of grief?!
FLUFFY: It hurts even more that we're not together right now!
. . . Oh.
;_; Seriously, guys, you're too cute to be pulling those faces right now and BREAKING MY HEART ALL OVER AGAIN. STOP. MY DELICATE EMOTIONS CANNOT HANDLE THIS.
I decided that moping around was just straight-up not allowed and so I sent them both out. Fluffy biked off through the picturesque scenery.
While Re took a limo LIKE A BOSS.
Re arrived at the Martial Arts Academy in rather high, albeit slightly glitched, spirits.
REMEMBER: Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!
That's the spirit, Re! Now let's work on attaining that LTW, yes?
Evasive maneuvers, Re! You can't beat this one with strength - SHE WILL CRUSH YOU WITH HER BARE HANDS - so you gotta beat her with speed!
P.S. Old Meditating Guy, are you sure that's the safest spot to be, you know, just sitting around with your eyes half-closed?
OLD MEDITATING GUY: The force is strong here.
That would be the floor shaking from the intense fight going on two feet in front of you. Just so you know.
Oh, look, Re's moved on to beating up an elderly woman!
HOLY SHIT, THIS OLD LADY IS BADASS. Um. I did not foresee this.
But not badass enough to beat Re, mind you.
REMEMBER: If you think I came all the way to China to lose even a single match, you, Madam, are sadly mistaken.
ELDERLY BADASS: But I promised my grandchildren that I'd-
Gah, I can't even express how amazingly badass Re secretly is. Well, really, at this point, it's not much of a secret. But still. BAD. ASS.
REMEMBER: Beating that elderly lady into near-death reminded me of Uncle Silas. He would've been so proud!
NO. NO GRIEVING. We'll have to go back home to your house of grief soon enough so no grieving here, kthxbai.
Look at Fluffy, taking in the view without any grief.
FLUFFY: Silas would've appreciated the beauty of this view, I just know it!
UGH YOU TWO. STOP.
NO SERIOUSLY. STOP.
RANDOM GROUPIE WOMAN: I hope he's not crying in the picture, that'd be such a downer.
She asked Fluffy for a picture. Fluffy said yes. Fluffy then started bawling. UM.
FLUFFY: Fine, take your goddamn picture. But let it be known that I am in GRIEF and I WILL NOT SMILE.
RANDOM GROUPIE WOMAN: Fine, just let me get your picture.
jsyk, my favourite picture I took of DanRad basically has him doing the Blue Steel face. For comparison:
What, you want me to stop talking about meeting DanRad and just write the legacy update? Well, if you insist! ♥
Speaking of not talking, look who has finally decided to move on from their collective grief!
I love how it looks like Re is just watching Fluffy take a shower. Very intently watching at that.
Not that I'm one to talk because, aside from this very voyeuristic shot, this is the exact angle from which I accidentally took a two-minute video of Fluffy showering. THE "V" KEY IS REALLY CLOSE TO THE "C" KEY OKAY.
That video could've turned into a full-blown sex tape. It didn't, mind you, but it COULD have. GET IT, RE/FLUFFY.
Awww, there's that smile!
Once they started, apparently they just couldn't stop. Sex > grief, tbqh.
FLUFFY: Hey . . . So, this is technically our honeymoon, isn't it? It is, right?
REMEMBER: I suppose it is. Why, what did you have in mind?
FLUFFY. YOU ARE MICHAEL IN THIS SITUATION.
FLUFFY: Oh, you know . . . Maybe a bit of snaking your drain?
FLUFFY: I simply want to stay up all night and do it all with you.
REMEMBER: Oh, honey, that just sounds lovely!
The latter, maybe, the former . . .
FLUFFY: See? Baller. Right here. Got the moves.
Re had to leave the bedchamber to go kick some ass in martial arts. GET THAT LTW, GURL.
Leaving Fluffy to his own devices.
FLUFFY: Hmm, adventures, adventures, which to choose?
FLUFFY: That one? No, that- no, that one.
So are you, Re. Cute and badass.
ENRAGED PARENT: You see that girl meditating? WHY CAN'T YOU BE CUTE AND BADASS LIKE HER?
A question I ask myself everyday, personally.
And now prepare for full-out, unadulterated picspam with very few captions because I really can't be bothered to caption these right now but they are perfect so I want to share and you will deal. Okay, go!
Those are some Matrix-style moves there, boo.
FLUFFY: Nothing to it, just being a bamf, nbd.
YEAH YOU ARE.
FLUFFY: I don't feel like such a boss now . . . My sweater was wool
FLUFFY: HOSHIT, wool weighs a lot.
That's rough, dude.
FLUFFY: Silas, I barely knew you, but I'm doing this all in your memory. Give me the strength to insert this keystone.
And then the burst of light knocked Fluffy out and he woke up at home. The end. No, not really. Except for the part where the vacation ended and so kind of?
We returned home to what I thought was Glory starting to get over Silas' death.
I thought wrong.
GLORY: I will jump on this trampoline but I will not enjoy it.
Also not enjoying things?
Zeph, who worked out of work only to be hit by a rogue car.
ZEPHYRUS: Well, this certainly is not how I pictured my day to go.
ZEPHYRUS: Especially because this day is my birthday! Oh, God, worst. Birthday. Ever.
ZEPHYRUS: I guess I'll celebrate, but I'm not excited for this.
SID (sixamsims): Well, this is awkward to be a bystander for . . .
Even a lack of enthusiasm can't stop the sparkles.
Looking the same, Zeph. That is to say, LOOKING GOOD.
. . . Oh.
ZEPHYRUS: This did not turn out as expected.
No. No, it did not.
IT TURNED OUT BETTER THAN EXPECTED, TBH. Hot damn, Zephyrus! You are the very definition of DILF.
No, seriously, can we just take a moment to appreciate this? Or more than a moment. If you need more than a moment, I'll understand.
And it's his beloved wife Pumpkin's birthday as well! Showing a bit more enthusiasm than her husband, I see.
She ended up looking the same. Which Zeph was ALL FOR.
ZEPHYRUS: Oh, babe, you look stunning. Just sophisticated and absolutely stunning.
PUMPKIN: You really think so?
ZEPHYRUS: Let me show you just how much I think so.
MYLA: So, things in this direction are certainly interesting . . .
MYLA: I'm just going to stare straight ahead. Safest this way.
MYLA: OR . . . I could pull all the attention to myself.
Ugh, YOU WOULD. Brat.
MYLA: All hail the mighty Myla Stormborn, blood of the dragon and rightful heir to the throne of Westeros!
MYLA: I will take what is mine! WITH FIRE AND BLOOD!
MYLA: Muahaha, how do you like that, Dad?
ZEPHYRUS: You want to take this upstairs?
PUMPKIN: Very much so.
Meanwhile, downstairs . . .
ALSO GET IT.
REMEMBER: Do you think we should shower first? I'm all sweaty from all this martial arts.
FLUFFY: Sure, we can definitely go have a shower.
And so they showered and dressed themselves in their wedding get-up? Because of reasons?
REMEMBER: We're role-playing that it's our wedding night again!
DID YOUR WEDDING NIGHT INCLUDE FLUFFY'S SISTER CREEPING OVER YOUR BED?
Oh, looks like all the sexytimes in the house lured Silas out to see about getting some for himself.
Glory was otherwise preoccupied by hitting on her brother-in-law and best friend, Andrew. Again. Some more.
GLORY: Wait. What are you implying by "I'm married to your sister?" Are you turning me down?
Glory, please go take a seat in the corner and look at both your life and your choices. Thank you.
Sid? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, GOOD SIR?
SID: Oh, you know, with Noro's husband occupied with her sister, I thought Noro could maybe use a bit of company.
Um, no, I think she's got this.
NORO: Heeeeeeyyyy, baby. You're sure doing your body work; I feel my pulse working overtime.
And now, ladies and gents, a montage of Noro's flirty faces. You know you were waiting for it.
Don't worry, the kids are pros at amusing themselves in appropriate ways.
AVERY: Shoulder-check before lane change! Safety first!
ELI: Mom! Will you come on the teeter-totter with me?
PUMPKIN: Oh, um, sorry, honey, your dad and I need to, erm, do some maintenance in the treehouse. It's not safe for kids right now, so don't come up there, okay?
Avery, go play with your cousin outside.
AVERY: I'm good here.
I would get your mother to order you around but she is otherwise occupied.
See? Also, see how cute she is? ♥
PRAYING FOR A ZEPH-LIKE TRANSFORMATION
Not bad, not bad. I mean, she's no Zeph but then, that was an act of the gods. Re is always cute though.
Re's husband, on the other hand, found himself in the odd position of having a meal with all the elderly ladies in the household: his wife's mother, aunt, and grandmother.
FLUFFY: Oh, God, what if they start talking about menopause? That's what older women like to talk about, right?
FLUFFY: *yawn* I am just SO. TIRED. Wow. Should probably leave and go to bed or something, need to get up bright and early . . .
He did need to get up bright and early, for an impromptu piano recital.
ARIA: If I was only fifty years younger . . .
Like that's ever stopped you before, love.
PUMPKIN: Fluffy's music is making me feel weird. It's resonating very oddly in an emotional sense, I think.
Is it a little bit funny, this feeling inside?
Ah, yes. So it is a little bit funny inside then.
And I leave you there! FOR A MUCH SHORTER AMOUNT OF TIME THAN I PREVIOUSLY LEFT YOU. Especially because I have just discovered that apparently I edited all the 3.6 pictures months ago. Go, me! In this one little thing, anyway.
NEXT TIME, everything happens. Seriously, there is so much going on that I can't even begin to talk about it. And wouldn't want to if I could because of . . . reasons. ;_;
LOVE YOU ALL